Life becomes really simple when your thoughts and feelings match; and when your internal thoughts and feelings match your external expressions…
If you withhold your inner thoughts and keep them secret you should ask yourself why. Is it an inauthentic relationship? Are your private thoughts unpleasant, unreasonable or sinister? It is only the external expression of our thoughts (through language of behaviour) that provides the opportunity for feedback – to align with others, to find our tribe, to notice when we are out of line, to attract opinions from others and to grow.
If we are secretive we get little the feedback from the world; if we are inauthentic the feedback we get is useless. Filtering and withholding is also exhaustingly effortful. Being transparent and authentic is effortless – I promise you will sleep better.
This works for groups and organisations too. If internal and external communication is extremely different it becomes difficult to manage and ultimately ineffective. If internal and external communication match it’s cultural, effective and effortless.