Next time you ‘lose it’ a bit… Ask yourself one simple question:
Where is the inflexibility?
Invariably you can only lose your cool when there is a boundary that is being threatened. It’s your inflexibility that makes it a problem for you.
Maybe it would be good to be more flexible about it – and maybe not.
Either way it’s helpful to be aware of the thing that you are defending, then you can decide whether to let go, loosen your grip or dig your heels in. Here are a few example inflexibilities:
I need to be in control
I don’t want to be told what to do
I won’t take a step backwards
I don’t want to take the risk
I’m not ready
I can’t leave a job after only 6 months
Everyone has to agree
I’m not prepared to move
I need to be seen to…..
In many cases, being aware of your inflexibility can provide more choice of how to go about getting what you want/need.